An Ode to a Long Piece of String I Found on the Floor Yesterday
Oh, long piece of string, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
1) You have a certain stringy quality to you.
2) You were very helpful in tying up the innocent person whose house I ransacked for cash and foodstuffs.
Oh, string, I love thee.
Editor’s note to all law enforcement authorities: this is not based on true events.