Other Things J.K. Rowling Should Fix Up in the Harry Potter Books

J.K. Rowling recently admitted, for some reason, that Hermione should have ended up with Harry Potter and not Ron. (In other words, fuck gingers!) Oh, and that Ron should have died. So since we’re now on the subject of things to fix about the Harry Potter universe, allow me to throw in other details that need fixing:

  • Snape should have been Harry’s father.
  • The Dursleys should have been called the Primfinkels and died in book one.
  • There should have been an epilogue in Prisoner of Azkaban where Ron steals Hermione’s time turner thingy just so he can give himself a kiss on the lips in the middle of the night.
  • Harry’s scar should have been on his arm for all the times it was noticeably visible in the movies.
  • They had all sorts of weird candies and treats in the wizarding world, yet no Fizzy Lifting Drinks?
  • When Voldemort “kills” Harry in Deathly Hallows, Harry speaks to Dumbledore in some sort of mystical white fog. But if Dumbledore was gay the whole time, Rowling missed a golden opportunity to remove all subtlety and have Harry discover his old headmaster dancing the night away or something.
  • In retrospect, the whole Harry-Ginny relationship was a bit weird, so forget her and just have the whole series end with Harry, Ron, and Hermione living happily ever after in the most magical ménage-à-trois there ever was.

I know all this seems a little stupid, but then so does the creator completely throwing the long arc of character development out the window for arbitrary reasons.

Oh, also, Neville should have killed Voldemort.

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