All Traffic Is a Political Conspiracy

I didn’t want to use this space to weigh in on current events that much, but I have to make an exception, because the biggest news in the country right now is a traffic jam that happened a few months ago, just a few towns over from where I live in New Jersey.

And there is one inescapable conclusion to reach from this scandal:

All traffic is a political conspiracy.

Think about it. Who designs city layouts? Urban planners. Who hires urban planners? City governments.

And you know what urban planners do? That’s right, they work on roads and traffic! It’s all political decisions. Traffic lights, stop signs, those giant warning signs for hidden streets on the side of the main road; they’re all political decisions, people!

And come on, doesn’t it seem a little convenient that rush hour happens when everyone’s trying to get to work and as they’re getting back? Sounds pretty suspicious to me.

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