An Ode to Last-Minute Christmas

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, but I at my mouse

Was clicking and clicking ’til my fingers got sore.

In the hope of completing this Christmastime chore:

Buying busloads of presents for lil’ Tommy and Joe

For this holiday season I was a bit slow

To get to the stores, which were busy and bustlin’

With their Black Friday sales (which is just some straight hustling’)

 I tried the next week, and to my great surprise,

All the gifts that I wanted were just lost to my eyes.

But then I deduced, “All shall be made right,

As long as I get them by pre-Christmas night.”

And I grew quite complacent and blew it all off

When I realized the eve of, “Oh crap I forgot!”

And so there I was clicking, my head in my hand,

‘Twas a whole hour later when I did understand

That the Amazon drones have not been released yet

And my forehead began to start dripping with sweat.

Reluctantly groaning, I went to my bed

And pulled out Portal 2 and the game Walking Dead

And wrapped them in paper, bows tied up like cravats

As I gifted my games to those ungrateful brats.

I finally slid them right under the tree

And laid down to rest around 6:33

When just two minutes later, o, the clarion call

Of two eager young kiddies zipping right down the hall

And crying, “Hooray! Santa was here last night!”

And they plucked out their presents with freakish delight.

As they tore them apart, I did boisterously weep,

“Merry Christmas to all, now good GOD let me sleep!”


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